The time to part is approaching
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Sunday, October 14, 2007
Okay... 1) Duncan Sheik was amazing last night. Not only was I able to work the Gala last night, I got to account for his back-up mic in case his other one died, which it didn't. Greatest songs ever, and I'm so happy for RayRay and Robert for being able to play the strings for him. Amazing. Absolutely amazing. It was so funny, during rehearsal right before Touch Me, he starts strumming his guitar and then bursts out laughing asking for the lyric sheet. So crazy.
2) West Territory Youth Festival today was amazing. It added to awesome IT-ness of last night. I'm inspired to live my life with courage and without regret. "I will not be defeated." And know I can go on planning 2010's performance for Spirit Rally. I can't wait till I meet with the other reps, cuz my brains just popping out ideas.
XD Just thought you should know. I always write depressing entries so thought the change would be refreshing. Hah!
So long as I can live true to myself everyday, more of these great opportunities will come. I have faith in that.
Suffer what there is to suffer; enjoy what there is to enjoy. That's life. Make the best out of it. Peace.
Current mood:  impressed - attempt suicide
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Monday, July 9, 2007
Scribbled on --> Mon, 07.09.2007 @ 10:09pm
I've come to the realization that the source of my rampant anger comes from my family, mainly my sister. Perhaps this is a normal thing. Did you know that? I didn't. I dun think I could even get this close to blowing up in someone's face back in Cali. I remember introducing myself as an angry person when college first started out, just giving people an apology in advance, just in case my short temper got the better of me. But, it never happened, and my friends have questioned me once or twice, you're not angry, or you've changed, so don't worry about it.
But I haven't changed...much at least. I've realized that since coming home. I'm still angry and I'm still trapped under my mom's control. It's suffocating. They've let me go to college on the other side of the country, but they kept a leash on me. Some days I just want to let loose. Take all my shit and move. Financially, though, it won't happen. It sucks. Florida makes me angry. I'm alone cuz no one lives here anymore, or nearby at least. And those who are, are so distant. Sometimes I want to reach out, but I fall too short. But, then again, I'm sick I can't do much of anything.
Yeah. Florida makes my head sick.
Current mood:  damn...m'head's missing screws
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Scribbled on --> Sat, 06.23.2007 @ 10:09pm - I need.
I need (- = people-wise, * = item-wise):
- singers w/ comp microphones
(or if you live in town, i can make a house call)
- 2 guys (actors)
- 1 girl (actress)
- 1 screenwriter assistant
- musicians for b.g. music
* thin red sunglasses (john lennon style)
* whoopee cushion
* a place that looks like a jail cell
Why I need these? In short, I'm making a movie. I'm desperate at this point. Inquire within.
If, by chance, more people inquire about a position than needed, auditions will be held.
More details here.
Current mood:  my expression of desperation
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Scribbled on --> Thu, 06.14.2007 @ 1:41am - 友よ // Tomo yo
いつもお世話になってました。
Itsumo osewa ni natte mashita
でもここから自分自信で歩きます。
Demo koko kara jibun jishin de arukimasu
正直、ウチは人と話すのは苦手なんです。
Shoujiki, uchi wa hito to hanasu no wa negate nandesu
話したい事があっても、はっきり言えません。
Hanashitai koto ga atte mo, hakkiri iemasen
何かあっても、多分あなたが何もできません。
Nanka atte mo, tabun anata ga nanimo dekimasen
「自分で戦わないとだめ」そう思っています。
“Jibun de tatakawanaito dame” sou omotteimasu.
一人でどうなるかまだ分かんないんだけど、がんばって見せます、特にウチのお母さん。
Hitori de dou naru ka mada wakannain dakedo, ganbatte misemasu, tokuni uchi ni okaasan
友よ、このごろウチの陰気さを許してほしい。
Tomo yo, konogoro uchi no inkisa wo yurushite hoshii
何回も悩みを聞いてくれて、焦ってる時から助けてくれて、一緒に笑ってくれて、ほんとに感謝してます。
Nankaimo nayami wo kiitekurete, asetteru toki kara tasuketekurete, isshoni warattekurete, hontoni kansha shitemasu
心のそこから、ほんとにほんとにありがとう。
Kokoro no soko kara, hontoni hontoni arigatou.
attempt suicide
Sunday, February 4, 2007
Friday, January 19, 2007
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Scribbled on --> Tue, 01.16.2007 @ 1:42am
時々、周りの人といっしょうにいるとなんか・・・ほうんとにむかつく。
友達でも、他人でも、嫌いな人でも、愛する人でも・・・
みんなに会いたくない気分をする。
誰にも顔を見せたくない。
誰にも話せない。
いつか、消えるよ。
Current mood: blank - attempt suicide
Thursday, December 28, 2006
The song I'm currently attached to right now by Ellegarden.
I threw the future away that I have recently gotten.
I have memories, but they’re still far away
And I’m tired of the burden.
There is a road above continuing from north and south.
There is something whispering the there is something at the end.
You are much stronger than I think,
But this ground gradually descends, so please be careful.
I can still hearing the ringing, I can still hear your voice
It’s okay to have scars from long, long ago
because they don’t hurt anymore
The memories you left me are like bloody footprints.
Everybody has these kind of memories, right?
But, I’m not going to hide it.
I am dreaming of a girl who rocked my world.
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高架線
ほんの少し前に 手に入れたような未来を
思い出と一緒に 丸めて投げ捨てた
まだ先は長いよ 荷物はもういいよ
※I am dreaming of a girl rocked my world
南北へ続く高架線
この先にはきっとあると
ささやいてる※
ゆっくりと傾く 足元に気をつけて
思うよりあなたは ずっと強いからね
耳鳴りがやまないな 君の声がまだ聞こえるよ
何億年も前に つけた傷跡なら残って
消えなくてもいいさ 痛みはもうないからね
血のにじんだ足跡 置いていかれた記憶も
誰にだってあるだろ 隠すつもりもないけど
(※Repeat)
Her name is Laura
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Koukasen
Hon no sukoshi mae ni Te ni ireta you na mirai wo
Omoi deto issho ni Marumete nagesuteta
Mada saki wa nagai yo Nimotsu wa mou ii yo
I am dreaming of a girl rocked my world
Nanboku e tsuzuku koukasen
Kono saki ni wa kitto aru to
Sasayaiteru
Yukkuri to katamuku Ashimoto ni ki wo tsukete
Omou yori anata wa Zutto tsuyoi kara ne
Mimi nari ga yamanai na Kimi no koe ga mada kikoeru yo
Nanokunen mo mae ni Tsuketa kizuato nara nokotte
Kienakute mo ii sa Itami wa mou nai kara ne
Chi no ni shinda ashiato Oite ikareta kioku mo
Dare ni datte aru daro Kakusutsu mori mo nai kedo
Her name is Laura |
Current mood:  peaceful Current music: Ellegarden - Koukasen
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Sunday, December 10, 2006
( EMO )
誰か・・・助けて
Current mood: 苦しい Current music: Aqua Timez - words of silence
Monday, August 14, 2006
Scribbled on --> Mon, 08.14.2006 @ 4:22pm - Beh...
I survived my first college class. Yay. Lol.
IB is such BS. College is a frickin breeze.
Yes, a breeze. Easy pass.
1 failed with me - attempt suicide
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Wow, what a day. First off, I didn't sleep at all last night, cuz I was still packing last minute things, and the I was freaking out. And of course when my mom and I get to the airport they had just issued a new security measure that said that people couldn't bring liquids, gels, and creams. Woo...
But, I think after coming here and staying here for just a day [just got back from an awesome party], I think I've met every type of person there is on the face of this planet. Awesome I tell ya. Well, gonna sleep. Gonna get laptops 2moro. Also got a written exam, bleh.
Current mood:  calm Current music: nothing - attempt suicide
Wednesday, August 9, 2006
Scribbled on --> Wed, 08.09.2006 @ 8:54pm - Last night in Fla.
Well, dinner sucked. My sister was crying for some selfish reason [prolly cuz she got grounded], my dad was POed about something and my mom was acting like nothing was going on. So, my Last Supper sucked big time, which makes me feel all the more better when I leave [please note the sarcasm].
Anyway, I finally finished everything that I needed to. I'm glad to say that I finished my grandparents' video and delivered almost all of the gifts I got for people [Nemo and co. still didn't get theirs -_-;;] Hm, and you know, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) haicrescendo you can sing really good! You got my mom hooked. And even my sister [because she loves Relient K].
I also went to visit my principal from elementary school, since my mom had to deliver some pictures to her. Saw her and the office ladies and wow did it take me back. Had a little havoc fun at the mall with everyone [Nemo, Garrett, Rocki, Jaqi, Dawn, Aaron, Colton, Octavius, Shabana, and Mark], messing around at Victoria's Secret and being loud and obnoxious at Waldenbooks.
All in all, I'm ready. Can't wait to meet my roommate, all the way from Japan. I have a feeling my Japanese will improve a little when I come back in the winter. So, see you later, Florida. These 18 years you've made my life a helluva lot of...Hell. XD May Cali be better.
Current mood: amused Current music: watching Medical Mysteries - attempt suicide
Saturday, August 5, 2006
It's about...5 days until I move to Cali. and to tell you the truth, I can't get over the fact that I'm going to be so far away... from everything, in a new place I've only been to once for a week. Everyone is meeting for one last time at Taco Bell on Monday at noon. That's the last time we'll see each other before we go through our hardships in college.
I think out of everyone going Monday...I'm the only one going outta state so I feel like I can't share the same feelings with someone else. Oi...I still have so much to do. One thing I've decided once I get over there is to get a job. I have two years to work to save money without having to worry about rent or bills. After that I have to pay for college and all that crap by myself.
Ugh... I can't stand this. I'm under so much stress it's like IB all over again.
Yes, graduation finally hit me like a brick.
Current mood:  stressed Current music: "You'll Be Alright" HOME MADE Kazoku - attempt suicide
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Scribbled on --> Sun, 07.30.2006 @ 7:55pm - Stuff...
Well, I downloaded a flash-making program again, but this time I only have one purpose: to make a trailer for the Project esCAPE Three Thousand+ Lost Memories website. I think I've never been this dedicated in doing a project like this before. We'll see how it goes some day.
Jeez, I haven't packed yet. I should really start cranking on that. Too much stuff. T-T
haicrescendo, the SMAP video we talked about last night, I copied half of it on to a DVD. If I had more blank discs, I'll add the other half and the Christmas special. And this is far off right now [meaning I don't think I can copy them before I leave], but I also have the dramas Love Revolution, YanPaPa, and some Gakkou no Kaidan, and MUSIC STATION 2002, if you haven't seen them and are interested.
Quality-wise, I don't no how it'll turn out, but I'll try to get these to you next week.
Current mood:  busy Current music: 5 centimeters per second - attempt suicide
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Scribbled on --> Sun, 07.23.2006 @ 2:01pm - NANA is my drug...
OMFG. The NANA anime is addicting... I'm already suffering from withdrawl, just waiting for the next episode.
Sure the movie was okay, but holy cow. Too broke to buy the manga, cuz it's probably even better than anime, but it's all I've got right now.
Still 35 more episodes to air. Going insane... INSANE
Current mood:  ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Current music: "A little pain" OLIVIA inspr. Reira from Trapnest. - attempt suicide
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Friday, July 21, 2006
Scribbled on --> Fri, 07.21.2006 @ 12:51am - I feel broken
I hate the way my mom makes me feel when I do something that jeopardizes her "reputation" because she doesn't get over it. It's all she talks about, and talks about it for days on end, like she doesn't have anything else better to talk about. I'm leaving in 20 days and this is it.
I still have so much to do before I leave, and I feel so overwhelmed. It feels like IB again. I think I'll just spend the day outside of the house 2moro to get away from it all. Drive around and just make random stops to places. Playing catch up with the two fansub groups I'm helping out is tiring. Well, yeah...
I'm broken. My heart weighs a ton [weird translation of that]. Bleh. I'm starting depress myself just thinking about leaving here. Seeing all these boxes around me makes me sad. As far as the people in SGI, they're throwing a goodbye party for me. Wah, I feel like crying.
I missed you, LJ.
Current mood:  will i make it over there? Current music: "Tiger Lily" Matchbook Romance
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Scribbled on --> Tue, 07.18.2006 @ 2:48am - W00t!
Got my driver's license. Passed. Easy breeze. Now my first task is to follow my mom to Tire Kingdom in the morning and drop off my car and then ride back with my mom. Oh yes... First time driving by myself, and I've been driving on public roads for about 2 days. Some Hell's gonna break loose.
Second task is to take my sister to her open house/get lockers/recieve books/social time thing at school next Wednesday. She asked me herself...which is quite a surprise cuz since the trip to Japan...we really haven't said anything productive to each other... [biatch-o...f*cktard...b*tch-face...@$$wipe]. Okay going to bed now.
Wedding Crashers kicked ass!
Current mood: i dun do smiles..stop smiling! Current music: hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm - attempt suicide
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